Stupid weather... haha
now still coughing... sighs.... hard to sleep at night...
I modified my room Sunday... with some Christmas Decorating Lights...
I LOVE my ROOM!!! ^o^
*become romantic.... ^_^*
Ok.... with these nice feelings inside me... I'm going to tell something....
Tell something to a girl which name Hana....
We've been knowing each other for 2 years plus... With those precious memories that you've been through with me, I really cherish you, as one of my best friend, one of the member of SEISYUN.... but you know... things changed... you changed, I changed too... I can't really remember which day onwards, you start to show us your true colours... You start to taking advantange on us, and slowly, you become someone that I don't know today... I feel very sad that you actually treat us like just one of your normal friends... Probably we're someone that is more than normal friends, but still you ask yourself: Did you really treat us specially? Did you really trust us? Did you really know and understand us? I can give you the answer: NO.... You actually don't know any of us... don't you? And as the same, we don't know you, we don't understand you... the REAL you.... Whenever something happened to you, we're not the first one to know... We ask you, you say you don't know... We let you speak yourself... and this make us don't understand you more... If you want us to understand you, why don't you just tell us your problem? Why don't you just let us know the REAL you? To be honest, I know you know that I'm angry bout the surprise party on you birthday don't you? I know you know... But still, we're so disappointed even though you say ARIGATOU to us at the end... Those broken exciteness cannot be cover up by those fake smiling face from each of us... Deep inside, I know that each of us are so diappointed... You don't trust us? That's why you throw tantrum??? Each of us, so deep believe you that you won't reject so hysterically... but still, you're angry at the end... You know how we feel when we untie your hand and your eye cover? We feel ashame...angry... mad... all kinds of feelings blend in together.... mixed up! We don't even know what kind of face expression we have to show you except we walk faster and show you our speechless back... We're so sad... That night... We went to Thai Club... Everything was so nice, until you start to disappear with Ren... I was curious, where you go with him... and then... I saw you and him... sitting at stairs... your at his lap... crying i guess... then you sleep at his shoulder... I wanted myself to cool down... I hold back all my emotions... try to approach you see what happened that makes you walk out from the club... I saw you crying.... I was shocked... I don't dare to ask you anything... Because I know it will be useless... You tell me It's him... Takumi... That time, I really pity you... Because I know for this relationship, you've been through alot of emptyness and blank in your head know nothing to do... and then... you do something that really makes me feel I'm so stupid to pity you... You dance with Ren... you approach him... Slow dance... Me and Chee Lup stare at you guys, know nothing to say.... Just staring.... I was like a stupid fool looking... You know? Did you know that I was looking at you??? YOU KNOW OR YOU DON'T KNOW??? IF YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, WHY YOU DO THAT TO ME???? YOU KNOW I LIKE REN RIGHT??? WHY???? CAN YOU ANSWER ME WHY???? I WOULD BE VERY PLEASURE TO LISTEN A SATISFYING ANSWER FROM YOU!!! DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE DRUNK! I KNOW YOU'RE NOT! WE ALL KNOW THAT! You start to being a queen, asking for this and that from me, because you know that i won't reject your request, you show off in front of other SEISYUN members for something they haven't done before... especially Qi... you make her really pissed off with your behaviour... Bout your Thai Club behaviour... Don't you know it's a very shameful things to always tell other people your lame stories??? In front of us you dare to say you go dance with a POLE???? THAT TIME I WAS SO SHOCK!!! I really get the SHOCK OF MY LIFE! How could you make yourself so CHEAP??? Going that kind of place is not a very good idea though, you make yourself on the podium some more??? GIVE ME A BREAK! We all know that your dance movement not very good though.... SO DON'T MAKE FUN OF YOURSELF! DON'T EVEN TRY TO SHOW OFF THOSE GUYS NAMES IN FRONT OF QI!!! WHAT NICK, ART.... DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE THAT NAME FUCKER???? Until today, 8th NOVEMBER 2006... me and Qi already started to treat you as normal friends... we've try to tell you what we feel, ask you to take care of yourself... but still you don't listen... You even make up stories with your own... There's too many things you've done in our back... You're not making yourself suffer only... as your BEST FRIEND, I worry bout your health, body and mind everyday... It's making me tired... I think it's best that I just put your things aside, correct? In fact, you don't really need us after all... You got your cousin sister, those TAR college guys that makes you feel fun at outside world... You're not the Hana I know 2 years ago... I know people change... I accepted your changes... So, please allow my changes towards you also... It's not fair for me to accept what you've done only right? So, friend, here's my last advise to you... If you really think outside world is more fun and exciting than be with us, I'll let you free and you may go... If you wish to become a girl that I don't really recognise...so from that time on, we're just friends... normal friends... Bond between us are broken... there's nothing can be hold back anymore... so Take Care of yourself... But no matter what, we still care for you and welcome you back... with our open heart... Love You Always, Reiko...
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